


Love, Thomas

by CharlotteDumont



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlotteDumont/pseuds/CharlotteDumont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a love letter written by Tom Hiddleston to you, dear reader. Something he found out caused him to break up with you one day out of the blue. You were hurt and for a while you hated him. Eventually you had moved on but he hasn’t. Everyday since the day he broke up with you, he’d written letters, around 500 of them, without any intention of sending them to you. This is the LAST letter he writes to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Thomas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! So this story was inspired by Michael Buble’s song called “Home” so if you want the full effect of the story (if it will even affect you in any way) perhaps you can listen to it while reading. 
> 
> I probably should warn you, this letter/story is extremely cheesy and kind of depressing, but try reading it with a British accent and maybe read it with Tom’s voice in your head. His voice always makes everything better.
> 
> Lastly, if you do end up reading the letter all the way to the end, please don’t hate me and please remember that everything on here is all just fiction. If it makes you feel better I cried while writing this and cried some more after I was done. Again, this whole thing is PURELY fictional and if it sounds like a story you’ve read or something, please know that it’s merely coincidental.
> 
> Well, that’s pretty much it I guess. I really do hope you enjoy this piece. XX

 

My Dearest (Y/N),

 

_Another summer day_

_Has come and gone away_

_In Paris and Rome_

_But I wanna go home_

 

It’s been exactly two years, four months, and fourteen days since I last saw you. Since I last kissed you and held you in my arms. I haven’t really moved on since then.

  

_May be surrounded by_

_A million people I_

_Still feel all alone I wanna go home_

_Oh, I miss you, you know_

 

Here I am again, sitting by the window of what used to be our apartment. The sun shines brightly outside; it’s a beautiful summer day. Heat radiates from the afternoon sun, but it seems that its warmth cannot penetrate through the ice that has since been growing around my heart.

The apartment, although basking in the glorious rays of the sun, is cold and lifeless.

Empty.

Just as I.

Everyday people come and go, you know, to check on me. And everyday, I put on a show for them. “I’m alright,” I tell them. “It’s been two years, surely you don’t think I’m still hung up?” I say. “Of course not, two years is long enough for anyone to have move on,” they would reply.

“Well, it’s good that you’re alright,” they would say dismissively, “being lonely isn’t good for your… condition, you know.” Then I’d laugh, sometimes even make a joke, and they would smile and laugh, convinced I was all right and be on their merry way.

 

_And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you_

_Each one a line or two I’m fine baby, how are you?_

_I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough_

_My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that_

 

Everyday after we’ve been apart, I thought of writing to you; I just want to know how you’ve been and if you’re being treated right. So here I am laughing like a mad man, with four hundred ninety nine neatly written letters, sealed in cream-colored envelopes; four hundred ninety nine letters that I will never send.

It’s silly, I know, since I’m the one who ended things in the first place.

 

_Another airplane_

_Another sunny place I’m lucky I know_

_But I wanna go home_

_I’ve got to go home_

 

I never meant to hurt you, not on purpose. Please believe me when I say that it’s the last thing I would ever want to do. Oh but what I would give to see your face lit up with that beautiful smile that I will always love; your radiant, heart-warming smile that never fails to warm the very depths of my soul. What I would give to wrap my arms around you and be the reason for your joy.

 

I just… I miss you.

_Let me go home_

_I’m just too far from where you are_

_I wanna come home_

 

Please, before you put down the letter and deem it as a miserable attempt to win you back, I swear to you that’s not what I’m trying to do. I just need you to hear me out, just please give me a chance to explain.

 

_And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life_

_It’s like I just stepped outside_

_When everything was going right_

_And I know just why you could not_

_Come along with me_

_This was not your dream_

_But you always believed in me_

 

I know that at this point, all attempts of redemption may be moot, but I cannot go without you at least trying to understand why I did it, why I ended it. And now I feel as if I have to tell you, just to be fair. You see, the reason why I ended things so abruptly was because… I’m ill.

 

_Another winter day has come_

_And gone away In even Paris and Rome_

_And I wanna go home_

_Let me go home_

Remember the last two weeks we were together? When I was grouchy and moody all of a sudden and you could not figure out why? It was because I was trying to figure out what to do with myself.

The doctor diagnosed me with stage 3 cancer; of what sort I’ve conveniently forgotten. He gave me less than a year to live. Now here I am, two years later wondering if I made the right decision.

 

_And I’m surrounded by_

_A million people_

_I Still feel alone_

_Oh, let me go home_

_Oh, I miss you, you know_

 

But then I heard from a friend of ours that you’re married and that you’re to be a mother of a wonderful baby boy. And in that instant I realize that this was the right decision after all, one that I do not regret and would make again a thousand lifetimes over if I were given the chance.

I pray my dear (Y/N), that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for I only put you through such pain so that you wouldn’t have to see me like this.

You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and you deserve to live a normal, happy life. And all I have ever wanted was for you to be happy, to live a happy life with someone who has many good years ahead of him, if only so he may take care of you and bring you joy for as long as you live. Something I would not have been able to do myself, and for that failure to you, my love, I am sorry. 

 

_Let me go home I’ve had my run_

_Baby, I’m done I’m coming back home_

 

I am writing this letter now because although I have been blessed with two more years of life instead of just one, my illness has escalated greatly and tomorrow I will be confined in the best hospital the world has got to offer. They’re to perform a surgery on me, to prolong my life they say. I am not sure I will make it through the procedure, but whatever happens tomorrow, I will leave this world with no regrets.

In those moments we spent together, no matter how brief, I think I have lived out my purpose in life and that was to love you. And I am now beginning to see that my last task was to ensure your happiness, sadly though it wasn’t with me.

Tomorrow I will likely be going back home to meet my maker. But I promise you that wherever I may be, I will always, always watch over you. I wish I could go home and embrace you one last time, but I fear that would be too selfish of me, to come back in your life all of a sudden only to say goodbye again.

Before I end this long and utterly pathetic apology letter, I wanted to thank you. Oh but there are so many things you’ve brought to my life that I have to thank you for that I’m afraid if I go through them all one by one you would never finish reading!

So instead I’ll thank you for the most important thing. Thank you for loving me, for making me feel that there was somewhere on this earth that I truly belonged: in your arms. In your arms I was and forever will be, well and truly home.

 

_Let me go home It will all be all right I’ll be home tonight_

_I’m coming back home_

 

P.S. Remember when I said that I didn’t love you anymore and that I’ve fallen in love with someone else?

I lied.

There was nobody else, (Y/N), only you. I just thought you should know that no one could ever have replaced you, not in a million years or a billion lifetimes over.

With that I’ve expired everything there is to say so I will leave you with the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and the hardest thing for me to say again.

Goodbye, my love.

 

Yours forever,

Tom

**Author's Note:**

> So whether this letter actually reaches you, or if he even actually sends it to you, or never sees the light of day is entirely up to you. Though in my head, someone found it in his personal belongings and decided you needed to read it. You cried your heart out, long and hard. And then you whisper to no one in particular, I forgive you, Thomas.


End file.
